remembering one of the many stories my grandmother Dagmar shared with me
No, Harald is no relation, but his story and the love story of Dagmar and Harald is part of our family story. If not for Harald, Dagmar would not have met Paul and well, you know.
This photo sat on grandma Dagmars end table in Norway. I vaguely remember also seeing it in her home in Chicago. My mother had told me it was most likely a picture of Dagmar and her brother Finn and probably she kept it to remember him as he had died young in Norway.
It was perhaps 1988 or 1989 that on a visit to Norway, at her insistence, we were going over her photos. I would question her as to the date, place and name and then write in pencil the information on the back of the photo. "In this picture I was maybe 19. It was taken in our yard at our home in Skien. We were having a little party for my sister Hanna, she was being confirmed. That guy must be Finn." Wait a minute, wait a minute. Dagmar was born in 1900, therefore this photo was taken about 1919. That would follow as Hanna, born in 1904, would be 15/16, confirmation age. Finn, however was born in 1910. At this time he would have been only 9 going on 10. "Grandma, that's not Finn."This is her story as I remember it.
"That is Harald, my first love. He was dark haired and handsome and he loved me too. He was tall and thin, serious, and very very proud. In 1919 my family had a party to celebrate my sister Hanna's confirmation. I brought Harald. Now, my mother was a fun lady, always laughing and joking. "My, you are thin Harald, I hope you don't have TB!" she joked and then she and my sisters and I laughed. Harald did not laugh, he demanded an apology. I was also proud and would not apologise. The joke turned into a fight and neither of us would budge. I was going to show him! A friend in Oslo had previously offered to recommend me for a job. "I'm going, just try and stop me!" "Go ahead, who cares", he replied. I went so far as to pack a bag and marched to the train station, sure he would follow. The train came. He didn't come. I left for Oslo. You see we were both so proud. I am sure if I had gone to him or he had come to me, we would be together today. But it was more important to me to be right. I am still right but what does it matter? I lost him that day.
Harald's good friend was Paul. Paul was short, not very good looking but lots of fun. He went to Harald and told him that he had always liked me and asked his permission to try to see me but only if he had Harald's approval. Harald was still mad. You can have her, he said. Paul followed me to Oslo and I guess you know the rest."
"But Grandma", I asked "didn't you love Grandpa?" Her reply, "Oh of course I loved him, he was a good husband and a good father, the man I believe the Lord meant for me to marry, but......not the way I loved Harald." "Then why did you marry him?" I asked. Her answer stunned me.
"He could dance and he had a car."
just so you know
I never heard my grandparents call each other by their first names. It was always Pa and Ma. I also never saw my grandmother cry, she was strong. Except once. The day my grandfather died grandma sat at our kitchen table and cried. No, she sobbed, great gulping sobs. In between the sobs she cried out "Oh, Paul, Oh Paul."
Harald never married.
**clicking on photos or documents will enlarge them for easier viewing**
