My grandmother Dagmar was a tough gal. I only once saw her cry. Not that she was without feeling. She was a very loving and generous soul. I think she just saw being weepy and having a "poor me" pity party counter-productive. She was the one who could always be counted on. Go to Grandma she'll know what to do. She would comfort you with a pat on the back and a hug "Go ahead and cry, the more you cry the less you will have to pee". After a bit of sympathy it was time for action. "Now we make a plan", she would say. She would assess the situation and figure out what to do. If that didn't work? "Now we make another plan". She was not a person you could keep down.
Grandma was born in 1900 in a small rural area of Norway and lived most of her adult life in Chicago. All of her friends and most everything she needed she could find walking distance right in her neighborhood. Occasionally she would hop on the bus or take the "L" downtown. She never learned to drive. She didn't need to. When we moved to the suburbs in the 60's Grandpa would drive her out to our house.
Sadly, Grandpa was diagnosed with Parkinson's. He went downhill quickly and soon he was barely able to walk let alone to drive. So Grandma "made a plan". She was going to learn to drive. At the age of 66 no less. And she did! I remember vividly accompanying Mom and Grandma to the DMV on Elston Ave. in Chicago. Her English was not so good and she had but a fifth grade education but she passed the written test! Off she went with the instructor and climbed into our Chevy for her road test. Mom and I watched through the DMV's large rear window as Grandma slowly, and I mean slooooooowly drove the course. Then we watched her go over the curb. Twice. We felt bad for her but in a way relieved for us and the rest of the city of Chicago who would be out on the road with her. Imagine our surprise as she came toward the building waving some ticket or paper or something and shouting "I passed I passed"!
My Dad did not allow us kids to ride with her. She missed her exit on the Edens expressway once, stopped and backed up. Oh Lord could she weave! She would actually periodically bump the curbs as she seemed to tend to drift to the right. She knew she was not a great driver. One day she showed up at our house all proud. "I didn't drive too good so I had to make a plan and now I drive good." She dragged us outside. Her plan? She had bought a rambler because it had a hood ornament. "Yust aim that guy on the hood with the line on the side of the road and you can't go wrong". "Ya, its a good plan". She never did have an accident maybe because she only drove her Rambler. None the less Dad still wouldn't allow us to ride with her.
I admired and loved that tough lady. She was not going to give up her independence. Nothing was going to get her down. Things don't go your way? It's okay to be sad and cry a bit but "now we have to make a plan". I myself didn't drive until I was 20 and Grandma was the one who loaned me the money to buy a car. "It's a good plan, a woman should drive". She fronted me $2300 to buy that beige "72 Pinto. I paid her back in weekly installments. Grandpa died and she moved back to Norway not long after. Years later she confided to me that she left with only $500 to her name. It seems she never doubted I would pay her back.
Of course I would pay her back. I had a plan.
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| My brand new Pinto |
